Wednesday, June 01, 2005

This was Written by a Friend of mine....Funny!

Acting has been a little slow, so I started temping today. What can I say?

Ever notice how staplers and staple removers always look like they are ready to eat something? It's weird... how come they always look hungry? And mean?

Ever notice how scotch tape dispensers, no matter if it's a public school or a huge corporation, are always the same? Those big tan or black things that weigh way more than what is required to keep a little roll of tape from moving around the desk? Is there only ONE company in the world that makes tape dispensers, and therefore all tape dispensers look alike?

I had a lovely desk with tons of space to use, which was nice, a lovely computer, (that I wasn't supposed to use for some reason) and a phone that had more buttons on it than a NASA space shuttle, all blinking inexplicably.

Ever wonder why they like to use a screen saver on the computer that looks like tropical fish swimming in a fish tank just to look up at the ACTUAL fish tank with the same tropical fish that is in the office? Maybe it's just me.

I was introduced to the shredder, which I have to say is the most ridiculously fun piece of equipment in an office! I had so much fun shredding documents that I even shredded the only proof of two transactions that totaled $110,000! Wow! That shredder is F-U-N. The chewing out I got for being so good at using it wasn't fun at all.

When in the world did they start making post-its that pulled out in an accordion shape?

In the bathroom, there was a funny picture of a toilet that had a leather seat, a laptop computer with phone and DSL linkups jacked in the wall, and a fax machine. The caption said, "Going On-line."

Ever wonder why there is an unexplainable banging sound like pipes being smashed together over and over again at your workplace? It made me DOUBLY curious that it was a Security Agency I was working for, with high tech sensitive equipment. What? You DON'T hear the sound of banging pipes at your office?!

Somebody sneezed, and I said, "God bless you!" Afterwards the manager pulled me aside and told me that we aren't supposed to talk about God in the workplace.

I must say, I am proud of the way I made the transfer of calls within the office much more expedient... I found it much easier to yell out to a person in the next office rather than taking all that time to figure out the NASA phone. I mean, c'mon... isn't it kinda goofy to call a guy on the phone to ask him if he can take a call when you can just yell out to him from 7 feet away?

Lunch was FABULOUS! I love Trader Joe's Chocolate Covered Blueberries! And the ten minutes I had to eat them was more than enough! I had ~FIVE WHOLE MINUTES~ to check my email, (on my phone, I wasn't allowed to use the computer) use the toilet, (the one with the funny picture) and practice on the phone from NASA. That was, of course, after I had finished filing (in triplicate!) all the work orders for the last three.... MONTHS.

My name somehow changed from Kevin, to Kyle, to Ken, and finally, to "What did you do THIS time!?"

My rep from the Temp Agency actually poked his head in to check out the business. Conveniently, this was at the same time I was doing my best work on the shredder! F-U-N!

Never in my life have I wanted to smoke so badly. And I don't smoke!

People ask me sometimes why I want to be an actor. Now I know what to tell them.



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